SISTER

My SISTER, Kathy
With our Grandmother
weeks before her passing

     September 15, 2010
I read somewhere 'pertinent' (Face Book) that we are celebrating SISTERS week.  I was already celebrating this week (I mean celebrating my sister).  In my life, there are some really special sisters... Lovonna and Harriet,  &  Rae, Barbara and Marilyn,   & Wendy and Pam...   and then there is my sister.  Kathy. 

Circumstance has brought us together again. We were (as I like to say) almost 'womb mates', but mom and dad had an 18 month plan.  Every 18 months, they had a child. They were children (20 and 21 when I was born). They had four human beings by 27 and 28 but the first three in rapid order. 

My sister, Kathy was my playmate, my friend... oh...  we did argue, to be sure.  But through the years, when I struggle... I have called her.  Through all of my years. 

Through circumstance, we are both living under the same roof again. Our parents have generously opened hearts and arms... made space... and we are house mates.  At 51  and 49...  I am not Ernestine Hemingway...  I just want to say to my Brave, Intelligent, Loyal, FRIEND,  I love you.  You inspire me BEYOND.    I LOVE YOU....    Janine

Two Sparrows in a Hurricaine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol0kSbk5y4I

      GOOD MONDAY morning people!!!!    I woke up to the distinct sound of Ross Matthews he was doing fashion 360 from the Emmy's last night.  He is today's Joann Worley... Love Ross.  He knows our Colony and I think (it's a secret, doesn't know it yet himself) wants to come out an play...  $5.00 fun at Target?  I know that when he got to meet Queen Janine, he was awestruck ... as we all are.
  Waving silly arms at Nebby, Ami, Nancy, Lois Lane, SVJ, Janine and Lilly, Malea, Jpeanut Butter, Aliya, Craig, Elliot's Friend, {{{{{{{Heidi}}}}}}, Tresa LOVE YOU!!!!, DR Donna, Kolony Kat, Robin, Beck, Donna VC Girl, Steph- Have a GREAT week, Erin xoxo, Renee, Elizabeth Mitchell, Ginger, Glo, Jazzy,Scrappysmom, Heady, TLJ Jean, Sweeet Pea, Cathy, just another Sparrow,  Teri, Dee, Dawn, Lydia, Cathy, Susan, ANT...   forgive me if I left YOU out... I am still quaking while waking to the strains of Ross. MUAH!  Maybe we could do Colony 360, Ross!   (I am not going to participate, but God bless anyone who does!)
  Nursing my second cup of coffee, the first thing I thought of was YOU.
  
        OH my goodness.    How is it that life is bumping along and suddenly you feel the ground come out from beneath you? 
    This is inappropriate... or maybe not.   I am typing along,  thinking about songs...  and someone in my family (who I love dearly) was calling.  Picking up the phone, the voice on the other end was in distress.  Two people I love very, very much have suffered a huge loss today.  All of my friends, Ami, Beck...  so many... have had recent experience with this.   They suffered a profound loss and I was jolted into 'what can I do?', 'how can I help?'... those were my thoughts, but honestly... all I could say was I'm so sorry.   I don't want to go into detail because it is so new, a shock... and it's really about them.  They have not dealt with everything that is in front of them yet.  I also know, there is really nothing I can do... but pray. 
  Why do we think we can fix life when it isn't meant to be fixed?  (this is back to my original thought).  I was waking up to Ross....    "Hellllll-LOooo" and decided to check my face place. I wanted to hear music, so I go to You Tube where all good things end up.  
  There was a 'vid.' that was dated March 28, 2010.  Two Sparrows in a Hurricane....    I remember the day,  and where my heart was.  I had no idea... not the slightest clue that the words would take on their own meaning with the wind storm in my path.
  I remember dates like time stamps on my heart.  March 28, life was going along.  We were involved in our amazing church Passion Play.  It was my second year with this family of friends.. The people who joined hearts, and God given talents were a special family.  God saw to it to place 'people in my corner' literally who would become lifelines. Something told me as we gathered together to pray and watch the miracle unfold...   a good example would be when the power went out on Saturday afternoon, prior to the biggest attendance predicted and stayed off for 15 minutes at a time with only little spaces of time with power in between... we had a plan 'B' in place.  All of the preparation, all of the human energy was possibly at the mercy of whatever force was insinuating itself in this important message.  This wasn't the first year something 'fearful' had come into play.  One year a packed house...  heard the blaring fire alarms, because of the smoke machine used in the performance (at a critical moment in this story) and people were being instructed to exit the building, by an automated, but FIRM voice.  Calm was key and while one of the cast members (who was also on staff) fixed the issue, the Pastor got up and spoke about someone not wanting us to be here.  The alarms went off at precisely the moment the message was being shared. This past year -when the power was out-   in the pitch black (hot) Sanctuary, we were told as a group, plan "B" was....  if at any point the lights go out, stand still, do not move, wait. (Interesting metaphor)  We thought about the HUGE orchestra, the choir, the audience and of course the actors. Standing still in the dark was tricky.  The point is... the lights were on and off for the better part of an hour, and as we gathered in 'the corner'...  the family that had been blessing my heart for the past two years... stood in awe.  We knew we could not force the lights on or off.  We knew all we could do was trust God.  My little family, prayer circle Verlyn, my precious gift... Verlyn, Robin, Yolanda, Carol,  many others.  When I couldn't see what was ahead of me, God saw.  When the path was BLACK and dark, He knew I was going to need these people. On this day, we wondered (with calm acceptance) would the power remain on for the length of the play?  This was the first of two, performances that day.  People were there to see this performance, some traveled great distances. Months of preparation, time invested... but that wasn't even the point.  Our small little corner, gathered quietly in the wings behind the black drape, linking together.  We prayed.  I can see now how every moment, every piece was perfectly orchestrated.  How the time spent in practice, being ourselves, sharing our hearts, coming together was all part of this great big picture.  Well, this isn't the end of the story. The picture is still being created.  The story is still being written.   But I can see without a doubt how I have been blessed as my picture develops, by those who have gathered around...   lent me a shoulder, sent me a note, said a prayer, shared a laugh.
  The day of the blackouts, plan "B" and our prayer circle...   was the most special day.  The house lights went dim for us to take our places. They went up with the swells of the orchestra, the gifted narrator.  The power was on.  I like to imagine it was just a reminder.  We were blessed with power, but we had no control over this situation.  Life throws us things we can't anticipate.  I believe every one is there to help strengthen us, or our FAITH. 
  The point of this was... on March 28,2010, I was blindly going about my life, not able to see in the dark.  Strangely, it was Easter Sunday 2010 (the day after the power went out) when a crack appeared in my life and light streamed in.  The first thing I did (although I was in terrible emotional shape, and don't remember all of the details) was  call my 'family' in the corner.  I asked for  prayer.  It's all I knew to do.
  I am still on  dark path, but the light is getting brighter every day.  It is only because I am not alone, trusting myself to possess any answers.
  I am so grateful for the love, direction, shelter, support, smiles, companionship...  so many things.  You know you are part of my story if you are reading this.  I thank you.  
    God Bless you and keep you...   until then (was it Roy Rogers?    maybe not, I'll find out) I will look forward to seeing 'you... here... there.... or in the air' xoxo

"Give her a headstart .... it gives her the illusion she is being followed"

      Peter O'Toole in 'My favorite year' 1982

   This quote caught my attention this morning... but more impressive were the streaming sounds (soundtrack) of  Les Paul , with layers of Mary Ford. 
  In 1977,  I was a 'nourishment girl' at the local hospital.  Mary Ford ... given name Iris COLEEN Summers (Les picked her name for accounting purposes, from the local phone book.) 
   Mary was Born July 7, 1924 in El Monte California passed away Sept. 30  1977 in Arcadia CA.
   'Mary'  was in the hospital, in a diabetic coma.  The nursing staff played Les and Marys music at her bedside around the clock... and when I hear those unmistakable, almost haunting sounds... I am transported to a kinder time in my own life.  I would look forward to taking her nourishment, and to listen to her music (all diabetic patients received between meal snacks, and I guess it didn't matter that she was sleeping-).   I would stay close by, for as long as possible, but cautious that I not to be too obvious.  I sincerely hoped she was listening  and that it was giving her comfort.
  Less than ten years earlier, my dad brought home an "album", an L.P. (Vinyl Record) of his friend, Bob Summers (Mary Fords' little brother).  He purchased it and shared it, and frankly, I played the record on the record player (Hi-Fi) so often, the  grooves and scratches were more audible than his music.
  I bet there isn't a person on this planet that hasn't been changed for the better by Les Paul.   A pioneer way before his time and his contribution to music history and the generations to follow was priceless.
   Les Paul,   couldn't  have made the impact he did without his then wife Mary.  They used a new technique called 'close miking' where  the microphone is placed less than 6 inches from her mouth.  Mary would use Les' new techniques and harmonize with her own voice.  (I bet Phil Spector spent time studying Les and Mary).  Maybe even my favorite musical genius, Brian Wilson.  I am certain Paul, John, George and even Ringo were followers.
  Les and Mary were together as a musical team from 1950-1954.  One of the videos below shows Mary playing next to Les (I did not know she was also gifted with guitar). 
 My dad would have been 11-15 years old during their time of huge popularity.  I am not sure when Bob was his buddy, or how close their friendship was.  I live vicariously through others life experience'.
  I know the 'Valley' that they had lived in...  was much more rural then, more land, room to grow, area to farm. Times were simple, people were friendly.  Television was a new phenomenon.  Les Paul and Mary Ford were right there.
  I have read that Mary had remarried, and spent her last (she was only 53 at the time of her death) years with her husband and was still living in the same general area.  She had continued to perform with family members mostly.  Bob Summers had recorded with Capital Records and was part of "The Mike Curb" experience. Mary, along with Bob and other talented siblings, would perform on the famous Hollywood Sunset Strip in nightclub(s).
  In this advanced age of Google, You Tube, instant everything, we don't have the benefit of those simple days.  When family meant something, Dad would take the only car off to work, mom was home with the kids. The Milk Man came before breakfast, The Helms Man mid day, the local Photographer pulled up in a big 'Wagon', we knew well the 'mail man' and our neighbors.  Families ate dinner together, and kids played  "red light, green light" and sang "The farmer in the dale" until dusk. 
  Maybe it's age...   I love going back in my mind.  Hearing Les Paul and Mary Ford this morning, took me back.   If somehow you have not ever heard of them, check these videos out.    Vaya con Dios.
 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63Df09Sodpk


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfyQkhbCvJQhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfyQkhbCv

GOOD Grief!

OK....     I was wrong.  It was STUPID!  What WAS I THINKING? 

 I was feeling a little lonely.  My husband told me on the eve of our 27th wedding anniversary that he had moved someone into my home, kitchen, bed.   He needs Companionship, Romance, Home Cooked Meals.

I thought to my sorry self "you better get busy...  you are a loser, if you don't want to be a lonely mess, sign up for (and PAY) a membership to CHRISTIAN -------.Com   How difficult could it be?"  I could spend the next months and months visiting, meeting, e-mailing... (not face to face, just making friends... what's the harm?)

What a MISTAKE.  Not 24 hours later, I withdraw my membership, give them the money, good riddance... never want to see them again.  

At first,      I saw profiles for out of State 'widowers'.   Fathers, devoted to their children.  The were all so geographically FAR away, I felt safe.     I sent responses to a couple of men in the same age range (half century up).  I saw one who was ' in music ministry' and in the same Valley I come from.  He asked for a Photo (although my profile had one).  The photo on the profile was VERY modest (covered head to toe).  I realized it was possibly not fair, and began to upload more honest, recent photos.  It takes time for the site to go through the photos....   so I thought (STUPID thing for me to THINK) I would let the person in 'music ministry' know I had uploaded photo's, but if he was curious, he could watch my little home movies (not all, or even most, or even more than a minute....   just to see how I appear).
He wrote back ASAP to say,
      "I don't have the 'time or ingenuity' to watch a bunch of home movies....  If your interested in meeting, call me (at the cell # provided).    He was in a hurry.  I wrote one sentence.

                   Thank you, this is more valuable than you could know.

Goodness, gracious.   He wrote back in a hurry.... What?
  "What does that mean, more valuable?     I am more valuable?  Is what I said is more valuable?  I don't want to play games, call me if you want to meet!!!"

I instantly stopped the association with Christian-------.Com  They gave me a chance to change my mind,  said "come back soon....   "  

 I was not interested in a relationship....    I was interested in meeting someone, a Christian...   living anywhere in the WORLD but not Of the WORLD to visit with.  I am SO thankful my swollen eyes were opened sooner than later. 

I am still alone, but not LONELY.   Today, my treasured 'friend' called.  I had been thinking about her... a lot.   It turns out she needed my thoughts and prayers.   I should pay close attention.  Dear Lord....       Please, remind me I am not alone.   Please Stop me from being STUPID. 
Thank you.

27 years....

                     Today is the day after...  
            I was afraid of the extreme pain yesterday would bring. 
It was my 27th wedding anniversary... and I do know that there is not going to be a 28th.  I did spend a lovely day at the beach with two awesome women.  I allowed myself to get a terrible sunburn.  I  wonder if that was some pseudo-psycho trick I played on myself...    letting my skin burn and feel physical pain. 

     One year ago, I was looking forward to spending my entire life with my husband. We celebrated our 26 years of marriage, walking hand and hand, smiling and sharing together... through the actual church that we had recited our marriage vows to Dr. Robert Fife
on August 20, 1983.             
          Suddenly today, it's all lost. 
  It wasn't as though we haven't had our trauma... our difficulties.  I just honestly believed in my heart that we had made it all this way...
  God was loving and protective and I felt sure our marriage was HIS.  I never dreamed we would be divorcing.  I struggle with the idea that we (he and I) are completely cutting ties, things are gross, unkind, angry, very sad.
   I still love him.  How can this be?  How can I still feel this profound love?
 He spoke to me the night before our 27th anniversary. He denied that we were legally married (a technical thing, but we are.)  At first,  I almost felt we were finding a way to communicate.  He started out by reminding me of some philanthropic things he has done for my family. I was grateful to him and told him so.  I felt sympathy for him...  I wanted him to not hurt. 
  The conversation turned ugly when I held my ground. I told him that I did not want to be treated "like an idiot"...  I insisted that all I wanted was a fair outcome.  27years of marriage, two kids and all that goes with building a life.    
   Long story short,  it went right back to GROSS.  This was the evening before our anniversary.  The photographs of every anniversary were flashing through my mind. The years of struggle were worth every tear. We had survived so much and we loved.  I had imagined he (or I) could suffer some awful sudden catastrophic illness. I worried. I knew the stress we lived with was dangerous.  I never imagined we would self-destruct and in such a huge way.
   NOW, I do believe that there are influences, worldly, ungodly influences that can change the sanctity of marriage.  Aside from the information that came to light this year, or my visceral reaction, unkind actions, words, thoughts my own human defects of character... deep inside my heart,  there was a tiny space for hope. I am not saying that is gone yet.  I think no matter what a court says, or what others say, I am always going to love and long for my husband.
   He did tell me, however, that he had 'moved on'. That someone had moved into my place in our home, was cooking in my kitchen, using my things (a woman specifically, along with his brother who is apparently without a home) He told me he needed a companion. He told me he needed romance.  He said that 'I did this to him...' that 'I had set this in motion'.     Like the photographs in my mind of our anniversaries through the years, I was seeing flashing visions of 'Vanny' and 'Grace', and 'Julie' (all adopted alias names) and the searches on the Internet for illicit, instant  sexual gratification involving other individuals/multiple different people... without human connection and sometimes just 1000s of moving photographic images. I was seeing first hand his vulgar, deviant way of just giving me a little bit of himself or I should say his way of giving me his deviant vulgar self...  I was craving his heart, his touch, his presence for years. I wanted him and I missed him.  I even told him. I begged him.  I wanted to help recapture what I thought was gone...  It wasn't gone, it just wasn't with me.  There were some  excuses. I believed them. 

As I read these PITIFUL words, I wonder with a critical heart... how can I still love him?  Who is the idiot?  I know reasonable people will see this from the outside looking in, some others have just  closed their eyes.  I begged fellow Christians for their help, prayer, intervention.  I heard a flat, emphatic no
 (don't want to get involved), uncomfortable resistance, backs turned away, friendships lost, loved ones lost... 
 I can see how the worldly things,
     anger, lust, gluttony, sloth, greed, envy, pride one at a time  have eroded what was good and special.  I am terrified, though, by just how destructive, devastating, and real the aftermath is.   There is a living presence, an evil presence that moved in...   took up residence, mocked, and eroded. Slowly but surely, one by one... the things that were good, the things that were pure, the things that were worthwhile were gone. 
   SO....   I got through the day.  I am still an idiot.  My heart still feels attached.  I am hearing his words, though. He does not care. He has not cared. He will not care.   He could care less and when he spoke the words 'I love you' to me last (on June 15 2010 in person... and by phone, June 19, 2010) he was lying.  I don't know when he last said "I love you" to me, and honestly felt love.   I do believe when he said he has moved on.  He is just a little sketchy on those dates.   He moved on long ago.   I wish he had let me know.... before I let myself be violated...
 OH, well.   At least I feel the sunburn.  It reminds me that I do feel.

Today is all I have....

GOOD SATURDAY Morning!    (The song the Sandpipers sang in the Sterile Cuckoo keeps playing in my mind).

  Today is a brand new day.  I know that my beloved family and friends are praying because I woke up with renewed optimism.  The emotions I have let in are eating me alive.  NOT good.  It is self indulgent and wasteful.  If I could wrap a boot around my puffy ankle, I would pull it up by it's strap and march forward with confidence. Not confidence in me...   goodness no.  But the confidence that comes from Faith... and when my Faith is weak, I have brothers and sisters who bolster me and remind me I am not alone.  Wallowing in pain and self pity are useless, time consuming.
  So what's next?  It is time for next.  A 'cupa' tea...   some sharing... and job hunting.  Here I go again with the worry and fear.  I have had a few jobs...  and on the way, I was blessed with two children... and all of these other precious children I got to love along with their parents.  I have had jobs in Hospitals. I could look  there.  I would like a job that required my natural talents...  
  WHAT in the world are my natural talents?  I am pretty sure I have a talent in LAZY.  That is going to look unfortunate on the application.  I like to play.  Where can I work and play?  I am over the half century mark... where can I work, be lazy and play at 51?   
  This is very tongue in cheek.  It would be dishonest to say I am not afraid, though.  Walking through the unknown is uncomfortable.  There are a few things I know for sure.  Today is all I have.  I have a wealth of friends and family who are praying and supporting when I feel insecure.  They are my true friends.  They will tell me when I need to SHAPE up.  They are full of hope and share it with me. 
  OK   So this didn't help me in my quest to find a job.  It did remind me how much strength and love are available if I just open my hard heart.
  If you are an employer... and have a position for a Lazy, Playful 51 year old...    Could you consider me... and fill out the application and let me know when I start?
  Today is what I have.  I THANK GOD for today.  I thank God for my cherished friends. I thank God for forgiveness (I need that most of all).
  "Father, You dwell in me and walk with me. So I LEAVE the corruption and compromise; I leave it for good.  You are my Father and I will not link up with those who would pollute me, because You want me all for Yourself. I purify myself from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."
  I have today.   Thank God, for today. Thank God for you.  I thank God for LOVE. 

  Now....    HAVE A GOOD DAY.  Listen to this pretty, wistful song of my youth :)   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg0-a4zlwNM

Happy, Sad, Grateful, Confused, Worried.....

WHAT?

I am sitting in a small space, thinking about the large dreams that I have had.  I am 4 days out from turning 51.
  I was just talking to mom and dad... about the fact that I was at Disneyland the day before I was born.  Disney, in my family... has many lasting, long term effects.  Ben and I went to Downtown Disney for dinner recently. He bought me the sweetest Key chain.  I will treasure it for the rest of my life.

  Before June, our small little family had a tradition of meeting the Mice, and other really awesome characters (Pluto... perhaps my brother Eric?)  We made an annual trek every Christmas (thanks Pam and Lyz). It is the HAPPIEST Place on earth. Ben was in the Candlelight processional and Andy Garcia narrated...  We had just begun the unhappiest time of our lives.  It was our last trip, as a family.

Dear Lord... Protect my family.   Keep them safe.  And bless the cook.

i (small case intended) am in the middle of  "WHAT"ness.   How did/does this happen?  How do 4 people who love each other turn into rabid antagonists?  I wish you (the reader) could tell me.  Next week, on the 17th, will be 51 years and one day since my first visit to "The Happiest Place On Earth". And then... on the 20th, the "Happiest day of my life"     (despite everything, I can't imagine that will ever change).   The person I wanted to live out my days with became sidetracked.  I didn't see it.  Help me, LORD... understand. 
I am grateful for the benevolence of family, and friends. I am grateful that I have been made to feel comfort and safety and welcome.

My days of knowing are clearly a fantasy.  How RIGHT it is that I was in Fantasyland the hours before I took my first breath.
There were so many smiles...    I ask you, the reader...  to let me know you are here.  And I thank you for loving me, despite myself.  XOXO

How the end began.....

"GRACE"
^-^

   I just finished writing a heart purging post, and every word was lost in Internet space.   I guess I should not have written as many words.  I am writing to document and sort feelings.
   Last April, I was going along in life (with it's trials) unwittingly. The ignorant wife, waiting until her husband returned home late at night. He worked so hard. He was terribly stressed. My heart hurt for him. Little did I know, his heart was being soothed.  It is a long, long, ugly story. Many awful details. I think I will start here and sort along the way. From April until June was a time of devastating discovery for me. This woman (photo borrowed from PUBLIC web. site Facebook, Terms of use are disclosed) Is "Grace". Her American alias. Interesting choice. She is also known as *B********-Benjapoon (could be her given name?)    ^-^  She is Thai. She is about 53. She is a mother, soon to be grandmother, business owner (Pretty Tanning and Bodyworks), has been married, I believe has been re-married for "residency" reasons, and has willingly, forcefully insinuated herself in my life.
I never knew those strip mall, dark business' that had operating hours from early morning til late at night (most for 12 hours) 7 days a week were fronts for illegal activities. I wondered often how they could stay in business? There are so many.  When I uncovered my husbands 'other life' last April, he denied the obvious.  I began to do a little Private Investigation work. Not difficult in the age of Google
   This blog may become my way of sorting anguish, feelings of betrayal, sense of danger, fear, sorrow...
"Grace" and her counterparts "Julie", "Vanny","Cathy" (Pinky, Jasmine... et.al.) Have used their 'skills' and the net result is the end of my 27 year marriage, a messy, expensive divorce, broken hearts.
  In my quest for truth and answers, I discovered that this 'culture' of sex shops, or massage parlors, is a fungus spreading throughout our country. I found explicit, descriptive information verifying the lengths these operators go to with cultivating their new found riches. Cash. Cash is key in operating the business. There is a fee established (some offer early bird specials, coupons for $10 off) of $30,$40 hr. They use explicit, sexual inuendo in their public advertisements(see Craigslist, any town, under "Therapeutic Services"massage or go to  Erotic wfm). They have more explicit sites that spell out the "DIRTY DETAILS" (see Erotic M.P.com) with names, breast size, bottom size, type of bikini wax, age, appearance. Hobbyists, VIPs, go often in search of Nirvana, many love to brag and write reviews (I have verified details and find the reviews are accurate). After the initial fee is handed to the 'operator'-nice word for mamasan which is the most used term, the individual massage worker and her male client work out the $$$=service  details. Some business' are not in compliance with license' or certificates.   I found printed fliers at home for local neighborhood operations and checked the reviews. In the reviews, I saw unsafe sex practices, outcall services=prostitution, signs of  human trafficking , money laundering (do they claim all of this cash income on their income taxes?). I saw evidence of 'don't ask, don't tell' when I attempted to report this to Law Enforcement about specific operations. Many of them near neighborhoods and schools. I also believe some deal in drug activity and gambling.
  The customer, such as my husband, knows the specific signals, words, gestures that will achieve a certain result. 
   In my husbands case, his girlfriend probably picked him as a mark or target in the beginning. They look for big tippers and he is.  (Some tips average $100.00 for the extra service).
It seems in "Grace's" establishment, her 'role' (other than communicating with my husband, arranging dates) is to run the 'store'. She collects the initial fee and the tips are given  upon completion with the girl.  A bonus cold bottle of water and a peck on the cheek.
  Grace did have some reviews of her own (not many) and in them the description was not flattering, but said she gives excellent massages, will give that 'happy ending' and continue with a massage. Others who are reviewed allow more contact. Some younger girls seem squeemish according to reviewers.  At Graces' 'store', it is fairly standard for a basic Happy Ending with a massage (meaning the man is stimulated to sexual climax through manipulation or oral means).  Other places seem to go far into the other direction being strictly for sex and having no ability to offer a therapeutic massage.
  My husband prefered Grace, but dated all of them (in terms of going dancing, to karaoke, parties, taking one on a lovely motorcycle ride). Once while I was dancing with him at a work function, the whole giddy group broke into my dance. He had me sit down so he could 'take care of them'. Grace is special, it seems. She calls him Hunka, he calls her Spider. She has had very "Romantic" night swims in my pool with him, at the home we shared until June. He meets her often, drives her places, they eat meals, go dancing, he uses very 'gross' language in little notes to her, she says he has her heart, he says she fell in love with him.
   I ask 'how does that happen?'
   When she has a crisis like a fender bender, she goes to him, or sends him the ultrasound photo of her unborn grandchild.  I accidently overheard a possessive voice message from her (the volume was up). I asked him about it. The elaborate lies began. The Private Eye work began. He wasn't cautious. She didn't care.
I don't know her motives... I don't know his. I know the result.  This is a long story yet to be finished. There is much more to say.
I wanted somehow to tell those (maybe only a few) people who do not know about this epidemic of crime. I was content and supportive when my husband would call at the end of a long day and say 'I'm tired, I'm beat, I'm going to go get a two hour massage'       I never dreamed, never could imagine how devastating this would be.
 I know this is largely criminal and the operators do not want to lose their fortune.  In terms of the above mentioned business, I honestly found that they have provided a limited service (Happy Ending) where others in my former community had scandalous practices.  The health risks are huge. I personally resent the probable Tax evasion... in addition to destroying my family, and others. I question the immigration status for these people. 
I am looking for a happy ending...    and that would include the exposure of this vile corruption.