Today is all I have....

GOOD SATURDAY Morning!    (The song the Sandpipers sang in the Sterile Cuckoo keeps playing in my mind).

  Today is a brand new day.  I know that my beloved family and friends are praying because I woke up with renewed optimism.  The emotions I have let in are eating me alive.  NOT good.  It is self indulgent and wasteful.  If I could wrap a boot around my puffy ankle, I would pull it up by it's strap and march forward with confidence. Not confidence in me...   goodness no.  But the confidence that comes from Faith... and when my Faith is weak, I have brothers and sisters who bolster me and remind me I am not alone.  Wallowing in pain and self pity are useless, time consuming.
  So what's next?  It is time for next.  A 'cupa' tea...   some sharing... and job hunting.  Here I go again with the worry and fear.  I have had a few jobs...  and on the way, I was blessed with two children... and all of these other precious children I got to love along with their parents.  I have had jobs in Hospitals. I could look  there.  I would like a job that required my natural talents...  
  WHAT in the world are my natural talents?  I am pretty sure I have a talent in LAZY.  That is going to look unfortunate on the application.  I like to play.  Where can I work and play?  I am over the half century mark... where can I work, be lazy and play at 51?   
  This is very tongue in cheek.  It would be dishonest to say I am not afraid, though.  Walking through the unknown is uncomfortable.  There are a few things I know for sure.  Today is all I have.  I have a wealth of friends and family who are praying and supporting when I feel insecure.  They are my true friends.  They will tell me when I need to SHAPE up.  They are full of hope and share it with me. 
  OK   So this didn't help me in my quest to find a job.  It did remind me how much strength and love are available if I just open my hard heart.
  If you are an employer... and have a position for a Lazy, Playful 51 year old...    Could you consider me... and fill out the application and let me know when I start?
  Today is what I have.  I THANK GOD for today.  I thank God for my cherished friends. I thank God for forgiveness (I need that most of all).
  "Father, You dwell in me and walk with me. So I LEAVE the corruption and compromise; I leave it for good.  You are my Father and I will not link up with those who would pollute me, because You want me all for Yourself. I purify myself from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."
  I have today.   Thank God, for today. Thank God for you.  I thank God for LOVE. 

  Now....    HAVE A GOOD DAY.  Listen to this pretty, wistful song of my youth :)   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg0-a4zlwNM